Family relationships are rarely simple. One of the most common tensions in households is when men seem to side with their mothers over their wives or children, sometimes without question. This isn’t just about tradition it’s deeply rooted in psychology and upbringing.
👵The Mother-Son Bond
Attachment theory explains that early bonds with mothers can create lifelong emotional dependence.
Men may unconsciously feel that disagreeing with their mother equals betrayal, leading to guilt-driven compliance.
Example: A man may agree with his mother’s opinion on how to raise his child, even if his wife disagrees, simply because he fears hurting his mother’s feelings.
👩❤️👨 The Loving Son over Caring Husband's Role
Marriage requires a shift in loyalty from being primarily a son to being a partner.
Psychologically, this transition can be difficult if boundaries were never established.
Some men struggle to balance respect for their mother with commitment to their wife, leading to conflict.
Scenario: A wife asks for independence in household decisions, but her husband defers to his mother, leaving the wife feeling undervalued.
👶 The Child's Factor
Children add another layer of responsibility.
Men often see themselves as protectors and providers.
Yet reflect blind loyalty to the mother or other family members can sometimes overshadow the child’s needs.
Example: A father may enforce strict rules and expectations suggested by his mother, even if they don’t suit the child’s personality or well-being.
⚖️ The Inner Conflict
Men often feel torn between three identities:
The dutiful son
The supportive husband
The responsible father
This psychological tug-of-war can cause stress, marital strain, and even emotional distance from children. So, men need to balance their roles and responsibilities wisely. Every relation should be given its independent place on above or below the other.
Healthy boundaries: Men must learn to respect mothers while prioritizing their marital partnership.
Communication: Honest dialogue between spouses reduces misunderstandings that may build over time.
